Virginity versus Sex before Marriage

This is the common fear that if you never have sex with a partner before marriage you have no idea if you're compatible or not. If you're involved in kissing, foreplay and perhaps some oral, then you've got a pretty good idea of how the other partner will perform in bed.

However, after so many years of denial. Of trying to "turn it off" and/or call a halt to things just when they were getting interesting. It is not an easy thing to simply switch it back on again. Sexual desire and behavioural conditioning don't really work that way. Let's just say honeymoon is less an exercise in passion and more an exercise in scaling hurdles. Trying to get past this innate sense that "this is wrong." "I'm not supposed to be doing this." "Why is this suddenly okay?"


So there was Pavlovian* conditioning, culturally-inspired guilt, not to mention getting past the huge image of what sex is supposed to be that I had built up in my mind over the years.


Eventually we can got over it. Obviously, but it takes a lot of time and work on both our parts!


*Russian physiologist who observed conditioned salivary responses in dogs (1849-1936)


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